The Prank War
by Mademoiselle-Carl
Summary: A nice little LJ lovehate fic. Pranking is always fun, isn't it? It's my first one, so please read n' review!
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone! Thanks for clicking on my story, I hope you'll enjoy it! This is my first fic, so please help me and review! I know it's a little short, but the next chapters will be longer, I hope. I'll update every few days, so check back often!_

**Disclaimer: I of course do not own anything you recognize from J.K. Rowling books.**

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James Potter, Head Boy of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, sat up abruptly in his four poster bed. Today was going to be a_ very_ good day, but why is only something James himself would know.

Deciding he needed someone to share this wonderful day with, he woke his three best friends up. Unfortunately, the way he chose to do so didn't go down very well with the three boys. Have _you_ ever been woken up by a jet of cold water, at 7 o'clock in the morning, on a Saturday? I thought not.

All three of the young men jumped out of bed, blindly searching for the source of the frigid liquid.

"Morning Marauders!" cried James as he stopped the flow of water.

The boys slowly turned around, advancing menacingly on their friend who so rudely woke them from their slumber.

"Ahhh bup bup bup! Don't you want to know _why _I woke you up?" asked James cheerfully, holding up his hand to stop his friends

"Yes James that _would_ be nice, if you don't mind." Said Lupin, one of James' friends, in a falsely bright voice.

"Well, I cannot tell you, unfortunately. You'll just have to wait and see for yourselves."

"James… what did you do?" asked Sirius slowly, fearing the answer would be something he didn't want to be involved in.

James merely held up his hand to his ear, motioning for them to listen.

"And 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…"

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER, I AM GOING TO CASTRATE YOU THE MINUTE I FIND YOU!"

"Gotta run!" said James, grinning. "Got to protect my nether bits, don't I?

And with that, he ran out of the dormitory, narrowly escaping certain death.

The three remaining Marauders stood in the middle of the room, too shocked to do anything but stare at the swinging door.

And this was the scene a certain Lily Evans was treated to as she burst into the room, livid.

"Where is Potter?" she asked a little too sweetly, with an obviously forced smile. "I need to _speak_ with him."

All the Marauders could do was stare once more at the door, although this time the door framed an enraged girl of seventeen, with shockingly orange skin and green hair. Horrible combination, if you ask me.

"W-we don't know L-Lily." squeaked a frightened Peter. "He ran off j-just now."

"Oh, well, I really have to go then. See you at Potter's funeral." The girl said darkly, before she ran off, cursing loudly, and scaring a tiny first year as she went.

The Marauders looked at each other, not fully understanding what had just happened.

"I have a feeling," said Lupin slowly, "That this is going to be a _very_ long day."

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_Did you like it? I hope so. Please r&r so I can fix it if it needs changes! Check back in a couple of days for the next, hopefully longer chapter! Ttyl, xXobsessedXx_


	2. Chapter 2

_New chapter! Yay! Please read it and review! PLEASE!_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything you recognize from J.K. Rowlings books!

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Lily and her friend Maria Fletch cheerfully entered the Great Hall for breakfast, Lily's hair and skin now returned to their original colour, of deep auburn and creamy white. Lily was Head Girl of Hogwarts, a position she hated dearly. She would have enjoyed immensely it if it hadn't been for the Head Boy, her arch-enemy Potter. But being Head Girl, meaning she was smart, finding a potion to take care of her little 'mishap' was a piece of pumpkin pie.

Everyone in the Great Hall was astonished to see Lily in such a good mood, as they all expected her to be on a murderous rampage by now, cursing any witch or wizard that got it her way. All though this sounds like quite the outlandish tale, it had happened before, after the Marauders decided it would be fun to make the seventh year girls beds float above the lake in the middle of winter.

But Lily had good reason to be cheerful, because her and her fellow dorm mates had a plan. A very devious, vengeful plan. Involving humiliation and mortification.

Meanwhile, back at the Gryffindor, the Marauders were worried.

"James, I'm worried." said Sirius.

"Me too Sirius, me too." said James.

"Do you think they're planning something?" asked Lupin anxiously.

"Oh we're definitely planning something!" said Lily, coming up behind the foursome, with a mildly scary smile plastered on her face.

"Something big." said Maria.

"Something that would make you all wish…"

"That you'd never met Lily Evans."

"Or Maria Fletch. "

"Something that would make you beg…"

"To go home, crying, to your mothers."

The foursome stared wide-eyed at the two girls, who were, at the moment, very intimidating. A hard look to pull of when you're a good six inches shorter than the persons your trying to intimidate.

Lily stooped down and whispered in James' ear.

"Watch your back Potter."

The two young women looked at each, laughed, and walked away, plainly enjoying themselves.

"Now Prongs, what do you think would have provoked a threat like that?" asked Sirius. "Not that the prank wasn't utterly spectacular."

"And very well planned." added Peter.

"Do you think it was the love potion we slipped in her drink last week?" asked Lupin.

"Or when we bewitched her quill to write foul things all over her essay for McGonagall?" inquired Sirius.

"Maybe it was that time we replaced all their make-up with Instant Wart Grow." said Peter.

"Maybe it was all these things combined." said James, thinking hard.

"You think so?" inquired Lupin.

"Yes."

"Oh. Right then." said Lupin

"Marauders?" Sirius asked slowly

"Yes Sirius?" answered the three boys.

"I'm scared."

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Meanwhile, back in the girls' dormitory, four young women were studiously planning out their revenge. They had a white board and everything. A little too into it if you ask me, but my thoughts are of no consequence, are they?

"I think we should go for some potions slipped into their drink, making them fall in love with Snape." said Melanie Smith, a brown haired, blue eyed and very intelligent witch. Also a very angry witch. She did not enjoy the warts covering her face a few weeks back.

"How about we redecorate their rooms with flowers and pink ribbon?" asked Elizabeth Watkins heatedly. "Maybe add a few permanent sticking charms?"

"No ladies! I have a much better idea!" said Lily smirking.

The four girls clustered around their drawing board, scheming evilly.

After a few minutes, they broke apart, grinning.

"Alright girls! You know what to do! Get your assigned materials and report back here in half an hour."

"Right!"

And with that, they turned on their heels and exited the dorm.

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_There is the second chapter. I know it's short, but the next ones will be longer, I promise! PLEASE REVIEW! I know at least 75 people have read this fic, but no one has reviewed! Please, please review! Flames are fine, I don't care! Please?_


	3. Chapter 3

_Oh my dear Aunt Fanny! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! sniff I LOVE YOU GUYS!_

**xMischiefManagedx:** Thanks soooo much! I read your stories as well, they rock:D

**Sabrina sonata:** I'll try to write as quickly as I can. I'm trying to make longer chapters, so it might take awhile.

**katara129:** Thanks! D

-**ShIvErInG sMiLe-:** That's why I like you guys more! You review!

**Mia:** I'M SORRY! Please don't hurt me!

**Yourheartsdesire:** I'm glad you like it:D

_Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing my ficcy-poo! I figured out that 200 people have read it! I feel all fuzzy inside!_

**Disclaimer:** Do you really think I own the Harry Potter books? I thought not!

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Watching all the seventh year girls file past with identically diabolical smiles glued to their faces would be an unnerving experience for any normal man, but for the Marauders, to whom the grins were directed at, it was quite terrifying. The girls in seventh year had never retaliated before (other than the odd curse here and there) and not knowing what to expect kept the four boys rather nervous.

"James, I'm nervous." said Sirius, stupidly.

"Yes, we know Padfoot. You've only been saying that for the past half hour!" snapped Lupin.

Lupin isn't normally so waspish, but it was getting to be _that_ time of the month again. And no, I'm not implying Lupin is more feminine than we first thought (get your mind out of the gutter!), merely that it was nearly the full moon.

"Do you think it's going to be anything _really _bad?" asked Peter, who was, at the moment, fearing for his slightly pathetic life.

"Well of course it's going to be bad, seeing as this time is going to be payback for all the things you four have done to them over the past years!"

The boys turned around to find a very annoyed McGonagall preparing to talk to the Gryffindor population as a whole.

"Frankly, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner! I believe several professors had a bet going to see how long it would take for the girls to crack. I suppose Leanne won the pool. She bet that the pranking would begin this week. Lucky…"

The four Marauders stared open mouthed at each other, then at their teacher, and back at each other again.

"Did McGonagall just entail that our teachers were involved in _gambling_?" asked Sirius in a hushed voice.

"I think so…" answered James, equally awed.

"Coooooool." said Sirius, somewhat dimly.

The teacher in question cleared her throat. The entire common room became utterly silent. Magical powers that McGonagall has, eh?

"Right! Professor Dumbledore has just announced that their will be a Sadie Hawkins dance this year, in November, so girls get to pick their dates this time. And no bribing! I haven't forgotten what happened last year! Bidding wars… madness." she said under her breath. "Oh, and Potter, detention in my office, now! Dying people's skin and hair! Honestly boy, what were you thinking?

After McGonagall declared the Sadie Hawkins dance, many girls were wagging their eyebrows suggestively in the general direction of James and Sirius, so the Potter boy was all too happy to get out of the common room, to avoid the potential dog pile that was bound to happen.

And sure enough, as the matronly teacher with James in tow marched away, screams could be heard issuing from the Gryffindor common room, and not just from the girls intent on grabbing one of the quote: "SEXIEST MEN ON EARTH!".

Have you ever heard a teenage boy shriek? Any respect you ever had for that shrieker is phft! Out the window!

Anyway, on with the all out prank war sure to happen between the two groups of seventh years!

Two of the four girls were currently occupying the dungeons, and were hurriedly raiding the store cupboard for their necessary supplies.

"Wait!" Maria paused "Melanie, do you hear that?"

"What? The screaming?" answered Melanie

"Yeah!"

"Oh, it's probably just Sirius.

"Yeah… probably."

Meanwhile in an empty classroom, two more girls were whipping up a few potions and such, when they too heard screaming.

"Elizabeth, is that who I think it is?" asked Lily slowly.

"Oh the screaming? Yeah, that's Sirius." answered Elizabeth.

"Yeah. Thought so."

"You think that the potions are finished now?" asked Elizabeth.

"Oh definitely. Back to the dorm!"

"Right!"

So the two young women headed back to the dorm, soon to be joined by their partners in crime, Melanie and Maria.

Actually, now that I think about it, I've decided revenge is not a crime. Revenge is more like a necessary evil. It must be done, although criminal behavior might be a result of said chore.

Such as stealing from the school store cupboard. Naughty girls!

Anyway, I went a bit off topic there. On with our harrowing tale of adventure!

So the four girls hurried back to their dorm, smiling evilly as they passed the one remaining Marauder. Because of course James was in detention, and Sirius had been spirited away by devious little sixth years. Scary them. And Lupin was off howling at the moon or whatever he does when he turns into that insanely psychotic werewolf guy.

So Peter, being all by himself, was quite terrified of the girls, so ran away squeaking like a madman. Or madrat. Get it? Yeah? Yeah? Good.

The girls merely laughed and trudged up to their dorm, and threw all their supplies on Melanie's bed.

"Everyone knows what's happening right? Then the plan goes down tonight!"

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_Tres exciting, non? Anyway, that chapter was a bit longer, but not long enough, I know. Please review!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey everyone! Glad you liked the last chapter D I'm going to make this one longer, so it'll take awhile for it to be finished. If you're bored, you can check out my other fic, it's just a totally random thing I decided to do tonight. It's funny I suppose, so read it and tell me what you think. Anyway, here's your chapter._

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything you recognize from J.K. Rowling's books… duh.

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"Let's go!" whispered an excited Lily. "We have to slip the potions in their drinks before they go up to the dormitory."

"But won't they see us sneaking into their room?" asked Elizabeth, who was nervous about being caught.

"Of course not stupid! We have our Invisibility Charms, don't we?" snapped Lily. She wanted the plan to go perfectly. Of course it would, the girls being the incredibly intelligent beings that they are. Ahhh… Good times.

And so the girls stealthily made their way across the Gryffindor Common Room, narrowly avoiding a couple of fifth years who suddenly stood up and almost ran right into the four girls.

They ran up the staircase to the Boy's Dormitory's, heading all the way to the top to the seventh year rooms. Once inside, they each went about putting in place their assigned charms.

They gathered together at the door, each girl smiling satisfactorily, chuckling softly.

"Well girls, everything is going as planned." said Lily happily. "Now to put Phase Two into action."

"Damn." said Marie. She was dreading this part.

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"Oh James!" sang Lily.

James nearly broke his neck whipping around to see who had called him. All he saw was Lily, but it couldn't have been her, because Evans _never_ called him James. Jerk, ass, idiot and pathetic loser were some of her favourites, but never _James_.

"James, it was me who called you. I have a confession to make," she started. "Ever since I met you, I've had to suppress certain_ feelings _for you." Lily didn't seem to think it was necessary to tell the boy that the feelings were of hate, seeing as it would ruin the plan. That would be very terrible. Indeed.

"But now is my only opportunity to let you know how much I love you! James, tell me you'll come to the dance with me!"

The boy was clearly dumbfounded. Lily held her breath, hoping that he would accept. It was crucial to the plan. Very crucial. And her face was turning slowly purple. Not good.

"I—I guess so…" said James slowly, thoroughly astonished.

"Great! I'll meet you in the Great Hall tomorrow everingat eight, okay?"

"O-okay…"

"Wonderful! See you later then!"

And Lily danced off, obviously thrilled.

James just settled back into the armchair he was lounging in, and began to read his book.

And then shot up, falling out of the chair.

"What in Merlin's name just happened?" he spluttered. "Am I going to the Sadie Hawkins dance with _Lily_?"

"Ewwwwwww!" He shrieked. Those Maruaders do seem to be a tad but feminine, don't you think?

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Potter, a similar shriek could be heard from the library as Sirius realized he had just agreed to attend the dance with Elizabeth of all people.

Elizabeth, Marie, Melanie, and Lily met in the corridor, laughing and pumping their arms. The plan was still running smoothly.

They headed back to their dorms, Lily smiling coyly at James as she passed. He merely 'eeped' and fell out of his chair again. Bruised tailbone, that's what he'll have the next morning. Ouch. I had one of those once. Fell all the way down the stairs. Not fun.

The four young women arrived in their shared room, and began to laugh uproariously. Except for Marie. She was quite upset actually.

"I still don't see why I have to go with bloody _Peter_!" she wailed. "He's so gross!"

"We know Marie, but we did draw straws!" laughed Melanie.

"Yeah, well, the straws were fixed!" she muttered.

"Right…" said the girls, getting ready for bed.

"So, we'll see what happens tomorrow, won't we?" asked Lily. "The plan had better work properly. I'll have to kill myself if it doesn't." Morbid much?

"Stop worrying Lily! Everything will go as planned. We made sure of that, didn't we?" grinned Elizabeth deviously.

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Lily and her troupe walked confidently through the halls the next day between classes, as students pointed and whispered. Clearly, word had got out that complete rivals the Marauders, and none other than the seventh year girls, were actually dating.

Shocking the entire student body to the very core.

I believe a second year in Ravenclaw actually fainted from astonishment after learning the news.

Horrible.

Anyway, as soon as classes finished, the girls retired to their rooms to ready themselves for the dance.

The boys had their daily nap.

Oddly enough.

And that's when the real fun started.

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_Okay, maybe it wasn't longer, but I thought that this was an appropriate time to halt the story. Tune in tomorrow, or Wednesday, for the next chapter. The more reviews I get, the quicker I'll update! D_


	5. Chapter 5

_I'm sorry! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I didn't mean to wait this long to update! I swear!_ ducks the pineapples readers are throwing at her _I'm soooo sorry! I was busy with school. SO SORRY!_

_Anyway, since I'm done with all the apologizing, here's the next chapter! Have fun, and please review when you've finished._

_Oh, and I changed my penname. I was bored of the other one._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything your recognize from J.K. Rowling's books. Wish I did, but I obviously do not.

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"Hey Sirius, didn't we use to have a mirror in our dormitory?" asked a groggy James as he searched the room to check his reflection. 

"What? Probably, why?" replied the sleepy tousled-hair teen from his bed.

James blinked. "Maybe because it's the dance tonight, and I'd like to look at least a tad acceptable…" stated Potter slowly.

Honestly. Guys are so dumb.

"Meh. Let's go. Doesn't really matter what we look like, if we're going with those dweebs."

"Yeah. What were we on?" sighed a depressed James. "Oh well. Can't change the past. Let's flush this toilet.

And with that, the pair left, after taking a quick refreshing drink from the jug near the door.

And were half way down the stairs when they realized they had left Lupin and Peter up in dormitory, sleeping.

So they went back, woke up the two, and headed downstairs once more.

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"I can't believe we're doing this! McGonagall will cut off our ears and use them for coasters when we've finished." exclaimed Elizabeth, who was at the moment worrying about the detention the four girls were sure to earn later that night. 

"Eww Elizabeth. That's gross." Said Marie, prone on her bed, thoroughly resigned to the fact that she was going to have to spend the evening with Peter. It was for the greater good, after all.

Lily finally came out of the bathroom, smirking, as she had been all day. The four girls were all completely dressed up as they should be, seeing as the dance was a formal one. Their dormitory wasn't as bad an explosion as it usually is before a dance. The foursome didn't feel the need to go all out on the Marauders, but they looked alright, I suppose.

"Well girls," said Lily, her smile still plastered on her face "I believe it's time to go, wouldn't you agree?"

"Oh indeed!" replied her dorm mates poshly.

"Right. Let's jump off this airplane."

And with that, they headed out the door.

Until they realized they had forgotten their cameras.

So they went back, retrieved their cameras, and trundled downstairs once more.

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The Marauders met the girls at the bottom of the stairs to their dormitories, thoroughly disgusted looks on their faces. 

Except of course for Sirius, who was staring off into the distance, humming a little song about spiders, and wondering what it would be like if sugarplums actually did dance in his head.

He wasn't ever the same after that incident with the gorilla and his top hat.

Anyway, moving on.

The Marauders met the four girls, and down to the Great Hall they went.

Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail, although being the highly intelligent specimens as they are, did not notice the fact that everyone they passed was staring at them in petrified shock, and not just because they were walking along peacefully with four of their arch-enemies.

In fact, the entire populace of Hogwarts was staring at them because of what they were wearing.

James was adorned in lime green footy pajamas with little purple hearts zooming around on them.

Sirius was dressed in what seemed to be a bunny costume.

A very feminine bunny costume.

That involved thong underwear, 4-inch pink heels, and a _very_ revealing top. Not that Sirius had anything to reveal, but you get the point.

Lupin, generally the most reserved and thoughtful person in the group, was completely covered head to toe with dots, lace, bows and ribbons. Something like the dress you used to smother your highly unfortunate dollwith when you were four.

And then there was Peter.

Who looked very much the same.

The girls had meant to turn him into a rat, but it appears he was already too much like one to change.

Of course, the boys didn't know what they were wearing.

That would ruin the plan.

Lily, Marie, Melanie and Elizabeth were nearly wetting their pants by now, but they knew to the best was yet to come.

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The Marauders, along with their very much entertained dates, were sullenly sitting at a table on the edge of the dance floor, still thoroughly oblivious to the stares they were receiving. 

It had been about half an hour since the group of eight had made their grand entrance into the Great Hall, and the girls were starting to get a little nervous about the rest of their plan. What if it didn't work out? What if the crucial part of their plan didn't arrive?

But then their doubts were relieved as they saw Snape and his group of cronies enter the hall.

"Dear Lord James, is that Severus?" asked a delighted Sirius

"Oh my aunt Fanny! Is that Lucius with him?" replied an equally thrilled Potter.

"Ooooooooooh!" squealed the Marauders, and off they went, waltzing towards Snape and his friends, with supposedly seductive looks on their faces.

And the girls pulled out their cameras.

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_Did you like it? Please please please review! I have plenty of pinapple for people who do review! Pretty please?_

_Anyway, I'll talk at y'all later. I'll try to update as soon as I can._


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